I cried a little in the bath when Donald Trump won the US presidential election four years ago. The social persona of Donald Trump really understood the behavior to show his stuff completely in this society where the ideals of the capitalism and the individualism are unnerved and they has been bogged down, and he has succeeded in letting a lot of people be under the impression that it’s the strength and the identity of strong person to take both discriminatory and anti-foreign attitudes by repeating them. It was a great sadness for me that there’re many people who couldn’t help supporting such the sham strength.
This world i.e. we are divided deeper and deeper because a variety of human beings have used the ways like ones that Donald Trump has done many a time not only during his administration but in his life. We are all different in the point of what we feel and think, and we’re never enable to understand each other. And then, we have the only way to oppose this division getting deeper. It is to engage in dialogue anyway. We should upgrade our thought intermittently by talking each other to make this society by ourselves. In order to do that, we have to imagine others’ sadness, anger and pain existing certainly now, knowing the fact that we can’t understand completely each other.
That working of engaging in dialogue often impose a big burden on those who do it. There’re cases when it would get complicated depending on the sensitivity or background of them because there’re not certain answers and it would be done by those who have each sense of value and world view. And then they would have to make it back to where they could talk each other rightly each time. It means to present a temporary conclusion as a point of compromise because of nothing like a right answer, not mocking and despising each other and expressing the feelings and logic of themselves reasonably during it. Not few people would feel the process of doing it, which would require much energy, frustrating.
I also feel it very fatigued when working on that sincerely. And, I’ve felt that the immaturity of myself that I can’t stand my spirit getting worn down has lead the consequences that brandishing academic knowledge as the absolute justice often demoralize others’ will for our dialogue. For such me, making music is the timeless way of engaging in it by my spirit, not losing sight of the essence. And the reason why I think so is that the fundamental element of both engaging in dialogue and making music have a common one for me.
To put it briefly, it’s ‘prayer’. It’s not too much to say that there’re nothing but it. During our life, we might have painful experiences that we wouldn't be able to forget. Though in this world we are losing the subjects to which we should pray because something like the religion, race, gender and blood relation doesn’t decide our identity at all in the present times, I’m now finding hope in ‘prayer’ itself.
I do not pray for the help or the end of this planet. I know we can’t understand each other. I just know many a time it but I pray for living with any human beings and also any life on this planet. There’re never the subject accepting it as gods and someone. There’re just a prayer.
There’re human beings receiving discriminatory by social structures, those not having liberty that they should have, the world where intelligence doesn’t exist as kindness, abused children, people who can’t be allowed to cry for their hurts themselves. Each time I realize it, I’m born again. That is, each time I realize the hurts in this world, engage in dialogues to embrace them and sure the prayer existing here, I’m born again. And then, the world is born again as well. I don’t know whether the sound at that moment will ring in your life. But if you find and grab something in this music, you will listen to the sound ringing when you’re born again by yourself. It’s the precious moment that we’ll start talking each other in the field of music. The possibility of our future arising there is one of the ways opposing to our division. I live, believing it.
I can’t affirm that I’ll never ever kill someone as I can’t do that I’ll never ever commit suicide on a train.
I might love someone from the bottom of my heart, and my love might be the same gender as myself. I might have and bring up a child, but I might roar at my baby and slap his/her face. I might get sick, and then I might sing. I might not compose, but still I might live happily. I might be a victim of a crime, but I might be an assailant of a crime. All mankind might perish by WWⅢ, but even then Rock’n’Roll might not die in that fire.
I think that we cannot affirm anything when we are living.
All of ‘might’ mean possibilities of consequences that every emotion on this planet can bring. Regardless of having or not having marks (like positive/negative or name) of emotions, there’re possibilities that we will have any emotions and experience the consequences depending on them. Whatever they are, anyone can’t deny all possibilities.
For example, have you ever wanted someone to die? I’ve wanted and I think that such an emotion isn’t particularly unusual.
Why can we deny and abandon someone’s emotion born and existing on this planet as what is never related to us though we are only born and existing there?
Assuming that you’ve never felt like ‘Die!’ and ‘Wanna kill’, but you can understand the fact that there’re such feelings on this world.
In any case, the interruption of the uncomprehending sometimes appears. I’ve seen it abandoned and killed someone’s heart many and many a time. I also haven’t been able to take someone’s hands because of my own uncomprehending and uselessness countless times.
I’ve gotten angry, cried and despaired each time. To begin with, I’ve believed that the existence of human beings have the sensibility and the capacity for thought, and we should and can acknowledge each other’s existence and dignity just because we cannot understand perfectly each other. So sometimes I wanted to give up treating all creatures bearing uncomprehending on the planet as human beings, and sometimes I wanted to give uplays music. There are sparkling and colorful life in the music, and I’m touching the beauty of them. Only at that time, I can try not to give up myself, others, human beings and this world, in short, I can try to live.
If you find a light to keep struggling in the music of HARU NEMURI when you’re drowning on the similar marsh of the edge of ‘living’. If you find a blessing only for yourself as when I was shivering with the beauty of life and I was wailing as I had done on the day I was born on.I’m able to think that it’s good that I have lived thus far. Every time encountering you in the music, life is sparkling and gushing out. This song exists here, hugging the glitter.
ri・ot /r???t/ noun
: a violent public disorder
specifically : a tumultuous disturbance of the public peace by three or more persons assembled together and acting with a common intent
: public violence, tumult, or disorder
: a random or disorderly profusion
: one that is wildly amusing
: profligate behavior
: unrestrained revelry
: noise, uproar, or disturbance made by revelers
I was a girl aged 14 in the beginning of 2010. I lived in a town which had some slopes and the sea with my parents, who were a little conservative, and my little sister, and I was a common girl who didn’t like sports and was good at studying. In those days, I was who was always passive. I didn’t know how to think something and I did not feel like I was alive.
A few years later, on the day Rock’n’Roll found me, my life had changed forever. I found myself alive and I got the way to think something. To this day, my world has continued to expand, and all of what were good or bad, and petty or great became elements that made me. I survived till today, being loved by many a people and arts, and meeting much malice as well.
In the beginning of 2020, I’m 24 years old and live in Tokyo, Japan. Unlike 10 years ago, I wear my favorite clothes, listen to my favorite music, sleep when I like, and meet the people I like when I like. I know the delight to express and I like myself a bit more than before.
Even if the times change, somebody is still hurt or dead somewhere today. What deprives life is just the banality of evil, that is, pure mindless of human beings. That is why I never give up to think something and I want to be who is active.
The world is always imperfect and the times are always incomplete. No one knows what the world will be like for the next 10 years. But that is why we can always make it with our hands. When we look at the world, love someone, and choose something, that is, when we ‘live’, I hope that this fanfare will ring through out and become a prayer for you.